I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
