The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
