do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
