whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
