i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
