just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
