ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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