so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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