shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
