He asked to "fluff my boner.."
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
