But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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