I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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