best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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