woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
