I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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