is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
