Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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