i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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