I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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