I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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