Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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