i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
