Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
