OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And then my night got REAL pukey
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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