"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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