Pappa wants mamma naked
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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