i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
