I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
