idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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