There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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