I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
