I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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