She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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