don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
