Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
