quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
