She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
