My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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