last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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