WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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