Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Randomize
