I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
