i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
