I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
