Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
only you would photoshop your dick
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
