I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
