my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
