I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
