i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
