I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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