Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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