If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
