Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
