You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
